Letting go of the height rule

Like many people, I absorbed the idea that attraction followed certain rules. Height was one of them. You didn't even need to say it out loud, it was just there, baked into dating culture, dating apps, and casual conversations.

But those rules weren't making me happier. Dates felt fine on paper, but something was missing. Conversations were polite but flat. Chemistry felt forced. I realised I was choosing based on what I thought I should want, not what actually worked for me. Once I stopped filtering people by height mentally and digitally I noticed a shift almost immediately.

Better conversations, less performance - One of the biggest differences I noticed when dating shorter men was how natural conversations felt. There was less posturing, less pressure to impress, and more genuine back-and-forth. Dates felt like two people getting to know each other, not auditions. I didn't feel like anyone was trying to dominate the space or play a role. Instead, there was curiosity, humour, and a willingness to actually listen.

That ease made dating feel enjoyable again not like something I had to prepare for or recover from.

Confidence that feels real - There's a stereotype that confidence comes from physical presence. My experience challenged that completely. Many short men I dated were comfortable in themselves in a way that felt grounded rather than performative. They didn't rely on size or status to feel secure. Their confidence showed up in conversation, emotional openness, and self-awareness.

That kind of confidence is quietly attractive. It creates safety, not tension.

Emotional availability made the difference - Another pattern I noticed was emotional availability. Again, this isn't universal, but consistently, my best dating experiences came from men who were open, expressive, and comfortable talking about feelings and intentions. Instead of ambiguity or emotional distance, there was clarity. Instead of guessing games, there were conversations. That made it much easier to build trust and connection.

Dating stopped feeling like decoding and started feeling like relating.

Height became irrelevant very quickly

Something interesting happened once I connected with someone genuinely: I stopped noticing height at all. What mattered was how I felt around them. Did I laugh? Did I feel relaxed? Did I feel seen? Those things outweighed any physical comparison almost immediately.

It made me realise how artificial height preferences can be. They exist mostly before you meet someone. Once you're actually connecting, they lose their importance fast.

Dating without the power dynamic - Another unexpected benefit was the absence of a strange power dynamic that I hadn't even realised I'd experienced before. With shorter men, relationships felt more equal from the start. There was less emphasis on traditional roles and more focus on partnership. Decisions felt mutual. Opinions felt balanced. I didn't feel overshadowed or expected to shrink myself literally or figuratively.

That sense of equality made dating feel healthier and more adult.

I stopped dating the idea of a person - Choosing short men forced me to question other assumptions too. Once I let go of height as a requirement, I became more open in general more curious, less rigid. I stopped dating an idea and started dating people. That shift alone improved my dating life dramatically.

Why this changed my view on attraction - Attraction is often treated like a fixed checklist. But real attraction is responsive, it grows through interaction, shared values, humour, and emotional safety. By choosing short men, I didn't settle. I upgraded my dating experience. I found more presence, more honesty, and more genuine connection.The irony is that once I stopped chasing a certain look, I became far more attracted to the people I was actually dating.

Final thoughts: choosing better, not smaller

Saying "I've had a better time dating because I chose short men" isn't about height, it's about choice. It's about choosing connection over convention, curiosity over conditioning, and reality over assumption.

Height didn't improve my dating life. Letting go of height did. And that made all the difference.